You’ve Had Enough

Something happens with my husband while he’s with a group of his buddies. He’s in some kind of accident and is lucky to be alive. He’s back at home relaxing and although he’s feeling healthy and normal, there is internal damage we aren’t aware of and he dies.

I can’t stop crying. I don’t want anything to do with any arrangements at all, but people are urging me to do so. I give in and decide it will be this weekend. I’m told it’s too soon, that most people are waiting two weeks, but I’m not budging. My friend, Anne is helping me with the details. She’s by my side as we walk in the door to the service. My husband is with me, his spirit-literally. I don’t tell anyone though and I still can’t stop crying. The funeral is pretty incredible. Anne did an amazing job. It looks kind of like a carnival with a roller coaster type of rail that goes through the funeral. There are several rooms. Each room is for one of our friends and is full of gifts for that person.

One room, for Lynn was full of baby clothes. It’s appropriate for her. The next room we walk through is for Anne. I did this room for her. Anne puts on a bracelet that has small beads with 2 large beads where the bracelet comes together. My husband’s spirit tells me it’s horrible and she’s never gonna wear it. I really thought she’d love it. I look up the wall and the entire wall, clear to the ceiling is full of  similar bracelets for her. We go through the room Anne did for me, but I only have a chance to quickly glance at it.

I ask Anne to get me another glass of wine and our friend Murr says, “I think you’ve had enough.” I’m annoyed by it, even though he might be right. I ask Anne to get me glass of water instead, so I can have a glass of wine after. Anne brings me some water in one of those tall plastic souvenir cups you get from an amusement park, as a joke.

I’m back home now and my husband’s spirit is still with me. I’m still crying. I know it won’t be long before he’s gone. I think to myself how funny it is that when he was alive, I always wanted time for myself and now all I want is for him to be here.

I’m cleaning the carpet in the bedroom with a Green Machine instead of an actual carpet cleaner to do the whole room. I’m getting nowhere. It dawns on me that my husband has life insurance. It hadn’t even occurred to me before now. I think to myself, when I get the money, I’m going to buy an actual carpet cleaner. All of a sudden I’m using a full-sized carpet cleaner to clean the carpet.

I go in to the bathroom and fill a bucket with water and vinegar to clean the floor. My mom is sitting the bathtub-clothes on and no water in the tub. She asks me to go to the garage and get her the big bag of Oreos. This is super annoying, because I’m busy and I’m trying to avoid sweets. Oreos are like crack to me. I go into the garage and grab a huge bag of mini Oreos and bring them back to my mom. She eats them while watching me clean the floor. I put a wash rag in the bucket and start cleaning the floor. It’s cleaning really well. I thought it would be more of a pain. As I continue cleaning I’m getting too much water on the floor and the grout is starting to bubble out like caulk. I think my husband is gonna freak out. I grab the bath mat to soak up the water, but it isn’t working. I grab a couple of towels and it still isn’t working. My friend, Mac asks if I want her help. She says she usually just uses the mop. I say no, knowing my husband doesn’t want a mop used on the floor, but I end up mopping it myself. It’s working well, but then everything starts to look yellow. I keep hitting the baseboards trying to get in the crevices. One second they are clean, but the next they’re dirty again.

“All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream.” ~Edgar Allan Poe

Here is what ‘A’ says about this one:

  • your spouse dies-the good news is that it doesn’t necessarily mean something horrible, the way you’d expect it to. It could mean that you are beginning to love your spouse in a new way, which could be good if you are in a state of acceptance about your relationship and seeing your spouse through “new eyes”.
  • beads on a string like bracelet can mean you are logically making sense in your waking life out of why things are the way they are. Either situations or the  actions of others.
  • carpet in a dream represents luxuries. When you dream of this, it can mean you don’t want to focus on anything negative. You only want to focus on positivity and feeling as if everything is under control.
  • we’ve come across water in the past and it’s usually representative of emotions, are there any you may be overlooking in your waking life? Interesting that it follows right behind the carpet interp. Be careful that you are dealing with emotions and feelings properly, so that you aren’t just sweeping things under the rug. Sometimes emotions do need to be faced head on to move through them and make forward movement.
  • yellow-since it wasn’t in a good way that it was appearing-you were trying to clean and it wasn’t working-can represent deception, fear and sickness. Deception-if followed by feelings represented above, are you being honest with yourself, are there some things you need to acknowledge so you can move forward? Fear-what are you currently worried about? Remember, worrying is a wasted activity, it doesn’t accomplish anything and is only a tool of distraction that prevents moving forward, face the fear and resolve it. Sickness-I think this is related to health, based on the fact that you were annoyed about the Oreos in the dream and you’ve been eating healthier, as you said-avoiding those things that are unhealthy habits for you. I think sickness is a major concern here, but more so your subconscious working out the fact that in your waking life your body is catching on that this time you’re “serious”, it isn’t getting what it craves. It’ll just have to give up and adjust.

I cleaned my actual bathroom floor with water and vinegar the morning after I had this dream!

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